"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco."

Mark Twain is supposed to have made the above comment. He didn't, but it is still a good observation on San Francisco weather. Which is why the latest announcement from the city by the bay seems a tad peculiar. SBC Park, home of the San Francisco Giants, has decided to install 27 solar panels to produce electricity for the ballpark. Huh? Each panel produces about 167 watts. The stadium consumes about 4 million watts to stage a night game. Wouldn't this be a bit more practical for the Arizona Diamondbacks?

One Ringy-Dingy

I can't remember the last time I saw a rotary dial phone. I remember the first push-button phone I saw, which was at the New York World's Fair. But once upon a time, even rotary phones were leading edge. Check out this briefing film made by Ma Bell for towns finally getting direct dial service.

God Told Him To Come

When God told Nathan Dorrell to take his pregnant wife and two children and drive 480 miles to Florida and visit Terri Schiavo, at least he brought something to the party. Mr. Dorrell is a juggler. He wears a fluorescent orange tie that squiggled down his chest, and tosses silver juggling clubs into the air. That has to be more entertaining than what Jesse Jackson does.

P.S. If you've been living under your rock today, Mrs. Schiavo finally died of starvation and dehydration today, after all those compassionate people denied her a more dignified exit.

Pubic Transportation?

Why did we have to go to Russia for coverage of this story? Hairdresser and college student Nelly Node decided to do a little field project to impress her art professor. She took a photo of herself (or at least part of herself), and then transferred an enlarged version to the hood of her VW Beetle. Performance art? Unfortunately, she caused other drivers to run off the road or into each other while staring at her, well, car. The LA courts were not amused, and ordered her to repaint the car.

Bush Bounces Beauprez's Buddies Bumper

When they received three tickets to President Bush's taxpayer-financed "Conversation on Strengthening Social Security" in Denver last week, they never imagined being in the national news. The people in question who had personally picked up tickets from Republican Congressman Bob Beauprez's office, and blithely went off to the event. But after they were seated, the Secret Service arrived to throw them out. Seems someone didn't like the No More Blood For Oil bumper sticker on their car. The Secret Service later denied being responsible, saying the three were approached by a Republican Party staffer. I thought these "town hall" meetings were supposed to be open forums for free discussion. Isn't that the definition of "conversation"? It seems that Mr. Bush prefers not to hear any dissenting free speech.

Not Everything Is Bigger In Texas

Lurch, the Wonder Watusi lives at the Rocky Ridge Refuge in Gassville, Arkansas. Yes, that's really the name of the town. According to the Guinness Book of World Records, Lurch has the largest horns they've ever seen

World Weird Web

The web is stranger than _________ (fill in the blank). The site I use for hit statistics on this blog recently went through some upheavals, the result being that all the counters got reset. Some topics that have been high in the search ratings are gone, and one subject seems to be the overwhelming source of the small amount of traffic I get. Specifically, a five line piece I did months ago on a contestant being stripped of her crown as Miss Norway for having done a few porn flicks. Sex really does dominate the web. As for the picture? Might as well see what we're talking about.

Update: I've had to go back and remove all references to the contestant's name in an attempt to stem the flood of hits on the subject. Something I never expected to do!

Jesse Jackson. Publicity Whore

Publicity whore Jesse Jackson has stuck his nose into the endless Schiavo affair. The only possible thing he can hope to accomplish at this point is to get himself some headlines. I expect the demagogue Al Sharpton to follow. And Terri Schiavo isn't even black!

It's interesting to note that our society is too candy-assed to allow someone to die neatly and cleanly, but we are perfectly willing to let them linger on while starving to death. Doesn't the Constitution cover Cruel and Unusual? Starvation is not an accepted method for executing even the most heinous criminal. I also note that the global military standards ban weapons designed to cause unnecessary suffering, and certainly prohibit starving prisoners.

What a bunch of Hypocrites we Americans are!

picoTux?

In one of Vernor Vinge's novels, he mentions in passing 8086 equivalent computers that are less than an angstrom in size. The new Picotux covered on Linux Devices isn't quite that small. The Picotux from German electronics company Kleinhenz is barely larger than a standard RJ-45 Ethernet jack. It is based on a NetSilicon NS7520, and as small as it is includes 2MB or 4MB of Flash, 8MB RAM, a 10/100 Ethernet MII and ENDEC MAC, as well as a serial port, external memory controller, JTAG, and 13-channel DMA. Soon to come is the model shown, which has 802.11b wireless networking and a RP-SMA antenna port. Just imagine a few thousand of these in a massively parallel array.

A Boy Named Sue?

The kid looks like the typical ugly baby. This hardly seems to be sufficient reason for the parents to saddle the girl with the moniker Aryan Justice. This is only slightly better than the couple in China who wanted to name their son @. According to the article, Aryan derives from the French for "holy". The hospital website has line in the announcement saying "Aryan is a good name." Turns out they say that about all the kids. Wonder what it takes to get them to say something is a bad name?

Plot To Exterminate Parliament?

When Scotsman Ken Meikle drove his homemade Dalek over Tower Bridge and up to Westminster Palace. British police went into full anti-terrorist mode, machine pistols and all. After all, the Dalek's battle cry is Exterminate, and this wouldn't be the first time the occupants of a police box have saved London from the Daleks! Fortunately, Meikle was able to convince them that his Dalek's cannon fired nothing more deadly than water. I suppose that's better than the traditional confetti. The Dalek, named "Jovie" is one of three he built for his brother, Gary, 36, who has Down's Syndrome, and Ken, a professional musician, hopes to use them to raise money for charity. The appearance was not directly tied to the upcoming return of Doctor Who to the small screen, which as far as I know still won't be seen in the U.S.

Declaring Victory

Looks like the Bush administration is preparing to declare victory in Iraq, and bring the army home. As I predicted in September. I believe this will work about as well as it did in Vietnam. ie, good for the U.S., not so good for the locals.

More On The A-Team

Earlier this month, I posted an article about an ad supposedly posted on the LA Craigslist trying to recruit the A-Team. As a result of the responses they got, the group sent out a questionnaire to the potential recruits. I've been filling out a lot of job applications lately (Hint: See the link in the upper right column), and this list of questions seems awfully familiar. FYI, no, I did not apply as the crazy pilot. See the responses they got here.

Where The Heck Is Kyrgyzstan Anyway?

Dan Gillmor asks the question: Where is Kyrgyzstan, anyway? With all the mention in the news lately, it's worth asking. Especially since most Americans can't find the Pacific Ocean on a map! Dan has a map, but I think that this one is much better. Look in the lower right corner. Interestingly, Mozilla's spell checker knows how to spell Kyrgyzstan.

The World Turned Upside Down

This photo is not the product of Photoshop or some such. Click the photo for a larger view, or see the article to find out how it was done. Hint: Look where the lamp is plugged in. Doesn't say if this scene is in Yorktown.

Sock It To Me

In the course of researching stuff for this blog, I come across all sorts of weird things. A lot of them crash my browser, but that's another story. Today, I actually came across the site for Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In. For those of you who admit to remembering the '60s...

Chief O'Hara, To The Batphone!

Just what you really need, your own personal Batphone. Straight from the 1966 TV series, MillionairePlayboy.com has complete instructions (quite complete actually) on how to build your own. They even include a shopping list. If that's not enough Batmania for you, check out the Batman News Network. Ever wonder how they kept the location of the Batcave secret from the telephone guys who laid the cable?

P.S. If anyone has a copy of the 1966 Batphone sound, please post a link. The one in the article isn't right.

Yet More Easter Eggs

This has to be the world's largest. Made out of real chocolate! The Belgian chocolate producer Guylian made the chocolate egg with at least 50,000 candy bars. The egg measures 8.32 meters high, and took twenty-six craftsmen 525 hours to build. They used 1950 kg of chocolate. Surprisingly, the maker says that the egg wasn't meant to be eaten. Now, where can we find a bush to hide it under?

Speaking Of Easter Eggs

The photo at the left appears in an Aljazeera.com article on UN Security Council action to send peacekeepers to the troubled Darfur region of Sudan. Click on the photo for an expanded image. Check out the computer screen to the right of the balding guy with his back to the camera. I reposted the picture because it will probably disappear if Al Jazeera finds out what they have on their site.

Update: Someone must have told them about the original picture, and they have replaced it with another, much longer ranged shot of the Security Council table. Well. there is still Flickr.

Man Eating Toilets?

The Aberdeen City Council is proposing to add some public toilets around the city. Nothing too unusual there. What is unusual is that the design they are considering is a retractable toilet! The units, each large enough for three men, are directly connected to the sewers, and can be hydraulically lowered into the ground, leaving just a manhole cover showing. How long before the headlines read: Man flushed in rogue urinal? The units would be manually controlled by the city council staff. Bet that will be a popular job.

New Meaning For "Mobile Home"?

Back in August, I reported on some folks stealing a bridge. Now there is a report of two men in Texas stealing a house. Brick by brick! They sold the pieces for money to buy drugs. Although they worked in broad daylight, all the neighbors assumed it was part of some nearby store construction.

How Do You Get To Carnegie Hall?

Most artists only get recognition after they are dead. The artist known as Bansky decided to hasten the process. Of fame that is. "I don't see why I should wait", he said. So he recently decided to hang his works himself in the Brooklyn Museum, the Metropolitan Museum of Art (MoMA), the Museum of Modern Art, and the American Museum of Natural History in New York. His discount soup can print stayed up in the MoMA for over three days before being torn down. One man's art...

Who Needs A Segway?

Somehow the symbolism of a 1.5 horsepower engine trying to shove itself up your ass doesn't tempt me. The Roller Cycle is intended to power you while inline skating or skateboarding. The claim that it improves the cardiovascular workout somehow doesn't make sense to me.

Copy Machines To Become Illegal?

According to the EFF:

Ever since the Betamax ruling in 1984, inventors have been free to create new copying technologies as long as they are capable of substantial noninfringing (legal) uses. But by the end of this year, all that could change. In MGM v. Grokster, Hollywood and the recording industry are asking for the power to sue out of existence any technology that appears to be a threat, even if it passes the Betamax test. That puts at risk any copying technology that Betamax currently protects as well as any new technologies Hollywood doesn't like.

To raise awareness about what's at stake in the Grokster case, EFF is profiling one Betamax-protected gadget every weekday until the oral arguments before the Supreme Court on March 29.

Check it out.

Where's That Clock?

Do you have trouble getting up in the morning? MIT's Media Lab has struck again, this time with an alarm clock you have to chase down to put out of your misery. 'Clocky', as the device has been dubbed, looks something like a big sea sponge or a Tribble. When you hit the "snooze" button, Clocky rolls off the nightstand and hides. If you hit "snooze" again, it moves somewhere else. Gauri Nanda, the inventor, says she came up with the device because "I have a hard time getting out of bed."

Instant Housing

Need a building? Just add water.That's the plan that a pair of engineers in London have come up with. "Building in a bag." To erect the structure, all you have to do is add water to the cement-impregnated fabric and inflate it with air. Twelve hours later you have an instant Quonset hut. The bag weighs 230 kilograms (~500 pounds) before adding the water, and inflates into a shelter with 16 square meters (172 square feet) of floor space. Cost is estimated at $2,100, while an equivalent-size portable building costs about $7,700. A similar-size tent costs about $1,150. The volume of the bag controls the water-to-cement ratio, eliminating the need for water measurement. You literally just add water. One wag has dubbed it "The Chia Shelter."

Couch Potato Tormentor

First there was the bane of sports bars, TV-B-Gone, a keychain-fob sized device that blasts out every TV infrared "OFF" command known to man. Now, for more personalized torment someone has come up with the Couch Potato Tormentor, which lets you record a single command from a single remote, but then sends the command at random intervals, say to flip the channel. What future forms of remote control QRM are still awaiting us?

Tivo Commercial Killer Hack

They call this a hack, but it's really an Easter Egg. Reprinted from Home Theater Hacks, these are instructions for converting the Tivo (fastforward) button into a commercial killer. Unfortunately, if I read this correctly, it also eliminates the original skip function of the button, which is pretty useful in its own right :(

Bring up any recorded program or Live TV. Then, enter the following sequence on your remote:

Select -> (play)-> Select -> 3 -> 0 -> Select

You'll know the combination worked when TiVo rings out three Thumbs Up sounds; that chiming "bling!" sound TiVo makes when you press the (thumbs up) button on your remote control. Your button will now skip forward by 30 seconds.

Korean Chicken Soup?

It has been said that the smell of fermenting kimchi is enough to knock birds out of the sky. Now there are reports that eating the Korean version of sauerkraut can cure Asian bird flu. Is this the orient's answer to chicken soup?

Closely Following Chairman Mao Through Strong Wind Big Waves And Advance Forward

RTFM is the favorite epithet of a friend of mine. I suppose that Chairman Mao's Little Red Book was distributed with those instructions. Something seems to have been lost in the translation into the Chinese characters on the T-shirt. The text reads: "Closely following Chairman Mao through strong wind big waves and advance forward." Now that's inscrutable!

Attack Of The Obvious

GMC has announced that they will finally be adding a car option for modern technology. If you consider the 1980s modern. For the 2006 model year, GM will be offering an audio input jack and an auxiliary channel on new radios in their HHR, Chevy Impala and Monte Carlo; Saturn Vue and Ion; Pontiac Solstice; Buick Lucerne and Cadillac DTS models. Finally, a way to use portable media you already have without replacing the car radio or using a kludge interface.

How To Destroy The Earth

Just what every inquiring teenager wanted to know. Why mess around with black powder bombs or homemade tasers? Here are detailed instructions on wiping out the entire planet. Methods include:

1. Sucked into a microscopic black hole
2. Blown up by matter/antimatter reaction
3. Pulverized by impact with blunt instrument
4. Hurled into the Sun

And my personal favorite:

5. Eaten by von Neumann machines

Advertise Your Logo / Domain Name On My Giant Pumpkins!

Ever wonder where folks discover the truly weird auction items coming up on eBay? Here's the secret: eBay Pulse, a set of web pages that they maintain to track the most popular searches and the most tracked items. You can look at the auction site as a whole, or by individual categories. The Totally Bizarre category seems to be a favorite.

Two Years in Iraq

Most of us would never have noticed, but this week marks the second anniversary of Gulf War II. It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your army is?

Spring Springs Early

Like many of you, I always thought that the first day of Spring was March 21. Seem that just ain't so. This year it starts on Sunday, March 20. Space.com explains the real facts.

Chew Your Way To Larger Breasts

BBC News reports that the Japanese firm B2Up is selling a chewing gum which can help enhance the size, shape and tone of breasts! Some of you may remember the earlier report about breast enlarging ringtones, also from Japan.

Evil Blogger Stopped At Border

Jeremy Wright is the co-founder of InsideBlogging, a consulting firm, and has run Ensight.org, a Web log about business and technology, for the last two years. But when he tried to explain this at the U.S. Homeland Security (DHS) checkpoint at Toronto's Pearson International Airport, he hit a wall. When asked what he did for a living, Wright responded "I'm a blog consultant." The gate droid then asked '"What's blogging?' It quickly became apparent that the droid might not have even known what a web site is, let alone a blog. Finally the droid stated "You can't make a living from blogging. Stop lying and tell me why you're really here." Wright was interrogated for three hours, strip-searched, and blocked from entering the U.S. As a result, he lost a six-week consulting gig in New York.

This fiasco was brought to you by the same airport that strip-searched a 92 year old grandmother last year. Your tax dollars, yada yada yada...

Caffeine Culture

The mysteriously named Tonx has posted a fascinating set of photos of Latte Art. Since anything related to coffee is of interest in Seattle.... Me? I'd probably never take the lid off to notice ;(

Clean Restrooms?

Looking for a clean bathroom in a gas station these days? You might have to drive to LA. Paul Moghadan's Grand Plaza Chevron station off of I-10 in the suburb of West Covina features a chandelier, sculptured art, a floral arrangement, silver columns, an Italianate slate floor, a wide granite counter, and rosa marble walls. Gold-plated fixtures grace the sink. The room is 10 feet wide! Moghadan says, "I started with Chevron in 1966, and they trained us back then that the No. 1 priority was the station bathroom." "I have customers from Palm Springs and Las Vegas who make a point of stopping here. Some even bring in relatives to show them the bathroom."

Free Market Labor

The German web site jobdumping.de lets would-be employees bid against each other for how low a salary they will take for posted jobs. (The site enforces a minimum wage of about $4 per hour.) Job seekers can also post a list of their skills, and potential employers can bid up the offered wage. Naturally, the unions hate this, saying the premise is "immoral”, or even that it resembles “a slave market.”

Kirk To Enterprise

Siemens is showing off a new Bluetooth personal communicator that is controlled by voice commands connecting via short-range digital radio to a central home communications server. Scotty, two to beam up!

The Hole Man

Larry Niven's award winning short story The Hole Man is a cautionary tale which deals with a black hole that is eventually released from a laboratory setting and goes on to swallow the planet Mars. Now a Dr. Horatiu Nastase at the Brookhaven National Lab thinks he has created black holes here on Earth. Don't Panic! One of the lab directors has been assuring people for years that nothing bad could possibly happen. Right?

Boys Of Summer

Baseball teams have started spring training, and the sole remaining "all-news" radio station in the Seattle area is broadcasting all the games. Baseball at 10 o'clock in the morning! Gah! It's bad enough that they have year-long promo spots for the regular season coverage, complete with sound bites of the sportscaster screaming about some play or other. Makes me want to seriously (no pun intended) consider satellite radio.

We Have Your Phone In Our Sights

Flexilis, a wireless think-tank based in Los Angeles, is out to demonstrate the vulnerability of Bluetooth communications. Toms Networking has a review of the Flexilis BlueSniper rifle, which can scan and attack Bluetooth devices from more than a mile away! The new Mk II version improves on range and portability over the original shown at Defcon 2004, and includes the fascinating Gumstix Waysmall Computer. As the name implies, the Gumstix is the size of a stick of gum, and fits into the magazine well of the rifle stock, eliminating the need for a separate computer.

The earlier rifle was held together with wire ties and rubber bands. The Mk II (my nomenclature) is bigger, stronger and more durable, and the antenna is almost twice a powerful. According to John Hering, from Flexilis, "The parts are easily available for a few hundred dollars and you can make this gun in a long afternoon." The article at Toms Networking has complete instructions. Anyone for an afternoon of Bluesnarfing?

We'll Sing In The Sunshine

Defense Tech is reporting that the Associated Press (AP) and others have launched Sunshine Week, a seven-day celebration highlighting the dangers of government secrecy, and the steps people can take to get their data back. A new AP study shows that fewer and fewer Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) requests are being honored by Washington. The report's summary includes: "At the CIA, just 12 percent of the FOIA requests processed were granted in total in 2004, down from 44 percent in 1998. The FBI gave people asking for records everything they asked for just 1 percent of the time in 2004, compared to 5 percent in 1998." File a FOIA request of your own here.

Revenge Of The Clones?

	Has anyone else noticed the remarkable resemblance between the characters of Dr. Julian Bashir from Star Trek: Deep Dish 9 and Dr. Gaius Baltar on
Bellybutton Galactica? Of course, the Bashir character could almost act. Given all the effort they are expending on subverting the Baltar character, why didn't the Cylons just replace him with a droid?

Water Out Of Thin Air

Trucking in water to homes and offices in big five-gallon bottles has always seemed a bit silly to me. Air2Water has a solution that seems much more reasonable. Their product produces up to 24 liters of water a day by extracting it from ordinary room air. They use membrane filtration and UV treatment to ensure that the result is free from airborne contaminants or bacteria. Pretty neat.

The Horsey Set

No wonder Queen Elizabeth has announced that she will not be attending the wedding of Prince Charles and his long-time paramour Camilla Parker Bowles. The real pictures are almost as scary as this Photoshopped one.

Clean Your Reindeer, Mister?

An unusual new hotel has opened in the northern Russian city of Nadym. It comes with a special parking area for reindeer. The hotel, which can accommodate up to 30 people in 15 double rooms, also has parking for snowmobiles. The busy season seems to be in March, when the town hosts the Yamal Governor’s Cup, a regional sports competition. Snowmobiles in March? Brrr!

What Can You Say About Chocolate Covered Manhole Covers?

It appears that semen-frosted brownies are not popular at Coeur d'Alene High School. When a 17 year old student sent some to a classmate, he was convicted on three counts of disturbing the peace. Seems to me this is a bit of an over-reaction. Reminds me of the time we sent a real hog's head by parcel post to...... Never mind. Boys will be boys.

Your Tax Dollars At The Bottom Of The Ocean

The last time anyone sank an aircraft carrier was during WWII. So the US Navy thought it would be interesting to sink the USS America. The ship, which was retired in 1996, cost $400 million when built in 1961. Building a carrier today costs $4.3 billion. Sinking a carrier only seems to cost $22 million. Sic transit gloria mundi.

Which Came First? The Chicken Or The Egg?

I don't know how they manage this, but Sur La Table is advertising real brown hens eggs filled with chocolate, which is in turn filled with "hazelnut praline." Either these chickens are kept on a very high chocolate diet, or ....

The Human Rights Record of the United States in 2004

The United States publishes an annual report on the status of human rights in various countries around the world. Not surprisingly though, it doesn't rate its own human rights record. In what is clearly intended to be retaliation for the US report's accusations of China's record, the Information Office of the State Council of the People's Republic of China has issued a report on conditions in the US. This is a little like the pot calling the kettle black, but that doesn't automatically make the content less valid.

Plastic Gemütlichkeit?

In a major break with tradition, a Bavarian beer garden owner plans to switch to plastic beer mugs for this years Munich Oktoberfest. He reports that last year they had to clean up 26 tonnes of broken glass in his beer hall alone. The new glasses will weigh around two pound less apiece, making it easier for dirndl clad waitresses to haul fistfuls of liter sized mugs around. But they just won't have the same 'clink' when singing drinking songs.

There Is Nothing Wrong With Your Television Set

Censorship is alive and well across the globe. The Guardian has collected some interesting examples of what is and isn't allowed on TV in different countries. These include: No TV at all on Thursday's in Iceland, to banning makeup for newscasters in Turkmenistan. The world is a bigger village than some would have us think.

Quantum Cavorite

Every few months stories surface about what is really going on at the US Government's test site at Groom Lake, Nevada, better known as Area 51. Stories of mysterious aircraft abound, frequently starring the legendary Aurora, or the more cryptic TR-3B. The TR-3B supposedly flies by partially shielding itself from gravity, a theory advanced by Finnish scientist Eugene Podkletnov, published in a paper in the British Journal of Physics (for which I can't find a link). Boeing and NASA have both invested in researching this technology. Will it prove to be real quantum Cavorite?

Riding The Rails

Coming soon to a subway car near you. Atlanta's Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority plans to add television and radio feeds for commuters. All 230 rail cars will be outfitted with 15-inch flat screens offering a local television news loop from ABC affiliate, WSB-TV, and transmitters that will offer three formats of on-board music: top 40, jazz, and R&B. This is funny in a way. When the subway system was being built, several of the more red-necked suburbs blocked expansion into their areas on the theory that the subway lines would increase crime. I always had a picture of a burglar riding the subway to the rich neighborhoods, ripping off a house, then riding home clutching a stolen TV. Now the TVs will be built-in.

Emancipation Proclamation?

The government of Niger suddenly canceled a ceremony planned to formalize 7,000 slave being granted their freedom. According to the government, you can't free slaves if we don't have any slaves. There are estimated to be at least 43,000 slaves in Niger. Some of the other BBC reports on slavery in Niger are particularly revealing for the 21st century.

It's 10:00 O'Clock. Do You Know Where Your Computer Is?

No more anonymous Internet surfing. A doctoral student at the University of California has come up with a method of fingerprinting computer hardware remotely, without the device's cooperation. The paper's author, Tadayoshi Kohno explains that the technique works by exploiting small deviations in the computer's hardware clock. In practice,the techniques "exploit the fact that most modern TCP stacks implement the TCP timestamps option ... whereby, for performance purposes, each party in a TCP flow includes information about its perception of time in each outgoing packet." The deviation in the timestamps is used to identify specific machines. Is the next step in the anonymity arms race a clock randomizer function?

Maybe You Can Hire The A-Team

This is the ad supposedly posted to the LA Craigslist recently. The responses are, interesting.

First National Bank of Wal-Mart?

Wal-Mart is poised to enter the banking business. Will they provide better service than the current excuses for mega-banks, or will they just provide the same crappy service less expensively? Only time will tell.

Gas Prices To Jump 24 Cents Today!

Several media sources are reporting that gasoline prices are expected to jump as much as 24 cents in the next few days! Much of this is due to the 30% drop in the value of the dollar in the past year. Screw Iraq and Compassionate Conservatism. Lets get started on the budget deficit first! In the meantime, I'm off to the gas station.

Cacti In The Kremlin?

The Russian government is proposing a limit of not more than two peyote cacti per household. Since it takes an expert to distinguish between cactus species, how would they enforce this? How many people in Siberia grow cacti anyway? Besides, it can take two dozen plants to produce one hit of mescaline. There are only an estimate 300 plants in the entire country. Maybe they should focus on their vodka problem instead.

No Doctor Who For Now

According to IGN News, the new Doctor Who series may have trouble materializing in the US. The new episodes starring Christopher Eccleston will air in the UK and Canada this April, but it seems that NBC Universal and its SciFi Channel subsidiary were offered the new show and have turned it down for now. According to the report, some NBC executives "didn't think it would fit into the network's schedule." Gee. I think it would have fit in perfectly in the Friday night slot currently occupied by Befuddlement Galactica, which has actually been renewed for another season. Note to self: Make plans to smuggle prescription drugs and videotapes in from Canada.